The Moment After

18 Jun

It is not actually at the moment that your heart breaks
It is one moment after, when you’re walking down the street
And you feel the left-over aspirin in your pocket
The one he had bought for you a long time ago
When you had that really bad headache and he
Went out without telling you,
Instinctively knowing what you needed
Without any words.

It is not at the moment that your heart breaks,
It is the moment after
When you realize
That the fleece sweater you wear in your sleep
Was his. Loaned because he knew
How long you had to wait in the cold
Waiting for the bus to take you home.
There’s no more trace of his smell.

It is not at the moment that your heart breaks
It is the moment after
When you’re putting your dress on,
The dress you bought to wear for him,
Because you knew as soon as you saw the dress
That he would love it
Love slipping it off you to see your skin
In the yellow lamplight of his small room.

And it is not at the moment that your heart breaks
It is in the moment after
When you look in the mirror
To see the earrings he gave you.
Given, because he knew
How much you loved pearls
And the idea that these things
Come from grains of sand

So you do not cry in that moment
When his eyes can’t meet yours
When you find that all your visions of the future
Will not include him, after all.
You do not cry
And you go.

You do it one moment after
When you’re walking down the street,
Remembering what he said
When he took you to the airport,
That the saddest sight he ever saw
Was of your back getting smaller and smaller
As you walked away

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